What happened to me?

I used to be so un-touched emotionally. Numb, maybe. Nothing made me cry, I was never a person who was easily touched or moved. Now, I can hear two measures of "touching" music, and "the water works" begin. Dustin always asks me "what makes music touching? How can you distinguish a touching song from a non-touching song? What does a touching song even mean? There aren't even any words, Babe!!" What happened? My girls! I had two children. I think that made me feel everything so intensely. Joy is much more joyful, pain is more painful, touching is not even being touched, it's like being knocked over! It is almost like I was, emotionally speaking, a pastel person. Now, it's like my emotions are NEON! It's stupid, really, but I wouldn't change it. I wouldn't want the absence of feeling to be there when my daughter looses her first tooth. I cried off and on, mostly on, for hours. Several days in a row. Or her second tooth. I still cried. Not for as many hours. :) Or when Ashlynne reads. Or when she explains to her sister about how she should make a good choice and be respectful. And it tears me up when McKynzie insists on doing everything "herselth". She wants no help, and doesn't even want you to hear her potty. She will tell me "don't listen to my potty." EWWWW. What is it about the baby of the family that doesn't want to be the baby? The fact that she is capable of doing most things herselth touches me! She's growing up so fast. When McKynzie tells me "I'm you baby gwoll mommy!" my eyes start swimming. Even childrens books touch me to a depth I didn't know existed. Here is a book I bought the girls because of the cute little blinking musical heart on the cover. I didn't even read it before I bought it. And, you guessed it. As I am reading it to them through sobs. They hate seeing me cry, which makes them smother me with kisses and sit on my lap, crawl up towards my face, and beg me to not cry, because "it's such a good story, mommy". Here is what it says:

If you weren't my little girl, There'd be a whole in the world! ( I start feeling touched)
A piece would be gone! We just couldn't go on! (eyes rim with tears)
The world wouldn't work without YOU! (tears spill over on to my cheeks)
THIS WAS THE FIRST PAGE, PEOPLE!
For who would share smiles and outshine the sun? Who would be doctor and help everyone?
Who would give food to those needing some? It's a good thing you're MY little girl! (I break for tissues)
If you weren't my little girl, there'd be a whole in our home! (sobbing)
A piece would be gone! We just couldn't go on! Our family's no fun without YOU! (the girls ask me to re-read that page because they couldn't understand my crying voice. Which makes me re-read the touching pages again. It's like a vicious circle)
For who would be princess, the fairest of all? Who would spin circles and dance down the hall? (My girls dance in our hall every single day, asking me if they are my favorite dancers, and if I just love their outfits, to which I reply that I want to be as good of dancers as they are. They promise to teach me how. Shoulders are shaking by my crying with these flashbacks.)
Who would be mommy to all of your dolls? (They always tell me they want to be a mommy just as good as me, CRAZY CIRCLE WON'T STOP. The girls start hugging me.)
It's a good thing you are MY little girl!
If you weren't MY little girl, there'd be a big hole in my heart! A piece would be gone, I just couldn't go on! My heart would be searching for YOU! ( The girls start to panic. "Why are you crying mommy?"  They kiss me. I simply say I am touched. They argue that they aren't hurting me when they touch me. I say I am so grateful for their hugs and kisses. I will stop crying in a minute.)
For who would pick flowers to put in my vase? Who would give kisses all over my face?
Who'd say "I love you" in sweet little ways? (Ashlynne now states that this book was written about them. Makes me cry even more, as I agree.)
For God gave you to me. You're special you see!
There's no hole in my heart. You filled up that part! ( I nod in agreement and say so true!)
You're the best thing in life, MY little sweetheart! And I love you with my WHOLE heart.
The End. Ashlynne then asks why I am still crying if the story ended so happy. I tell them I am just happy. McKynzie laughs, tilts her head and says so sweetly, "but you're NOT happy!"

I LOVE my girls!