How?

As I watched McKynzie (whom I have affectionately nicknamed "Tiny Tot" and "Cookie") sleep tonight, I marveled at her, and wondered how, when I kiss her goodnight and whisper so softly that "I love you baby girl, and I love being your mommy. You are so special to me. No matter what you do, I am proud of you." that Cookie whispers back, in a dead sleep, "I love you mommy". How can her brain still be processing even during sleep? It amazes me. I know their brains never stop, but it still is fascinating. How do they know where the edges of the bed are, and never (mostly never) fall off the bed during sleep? She will reach out, feeling for her Blankie, and pull it to her, and "arrange" it until it is (what I call wadded) what her sleeping brain decides is perfect. Tiny Tot then specifically drapes it over one shoulder, then adjusts it until the careful amount of Blankie is meticulously placed. I mistakenly placed her pillow on her bed with McQueen pillowcase upside down. She went into a panic. "Mommy, mommy! No, McQueen can't be upside down. We have to turn him. Fix it, mommy." She wouldn't rest her weary head on the pillow with McQueen in such distress. Such a dramatic disturbance to the bedtime ritual! I righted McQueen straight away, and she lovingly rubbed her little hands over him and said "there you go." As she centered her head perfectly on the pillow like she does,  I silently whispered a prayer, thanking God for giving her to us. Watching her sleep brought back memories. And emotions. Memories of  the sickening feeling that engulfed me when at 5mos pregnant with her, I realized that the 'cirque du soleil moves' had been frighteningly absent for 2 or 3 days. When the Dr. couldn't find the heartbeat, the overwhelming devastation was more then I could bear. Dustin and I sat in the Dr office, sobbing, unable to speak . I pleaded with God. How could we face life without this little baby, whom we have never even held yet loved more then life itself? The tears of relief and thankfulness, came like a torrential downpour when, during the emergency ultra sound they found her little heartbeat. I knew we would never forget that moment and the blessing of life that she is. She has brought so much laughter and "happy happy joy joy" to our lives. I would have missed out on so much without my Cookie. I have learned so much from this little girl. She is the most perfect little baby. Almost 3yr old baby, but our baby. I love you, Cookie!